You have the power to forgive and create a more satisfying life.
There can be many feelings associated with creating your own future, such as fear, regret, guilt, and more. This makes forgiveness very difficult. Whether unforgiveness is passed on from generation to generation or from previous bad experiences, it is imperative to be aware of your mindset. You have the power to stop the constant reminders of the past and look toward the future and learn to forgive others and yourself. Changing your mindset can help you to create new ways of thinking that support the life you dream about. Only when we free ourselves of past mistakes and make peace with where we are right now, will we truly embrace our future and live the most abundant and amazing life we could ever dream about.
Here are 4 techniques that can help you to practice self-forgiveness
We tend to base our future on our past. Our minds are wired to remember negative situations and our brain stores those memories to help us be ready for the next perceived negative situation. Letting go of the past can be difficult and can hold us back. It can feel like a car with all four tires stuck in the mud. When we try to forgive ourselves, it often feels like we are trying to release ourselves from things we have been stuck in for years. But there is freedom in releasing the person we used to be to embrace the person who we are becoming. We’re releasing who we were at that time. If we have built our present life based on who we were in the past, it becomes hard to forgive what we have done and who we were at that time because our past has become central to our identity. To release the negative parts of your past, remember that we’re all doing the best we can each day. If we had known that those poor decisions and bad behaviors would cause pain to others or ourselves, we wouldn’t have done them. And even if we knew that we were making poor choices, we certainly had no idea how much we would regret it in the future. Learn the lessons from understanding your past but make room for the future.
Our brain stores up all the negativity from our childhood and carries it over into adulthood. It downloads the past like a computer, and it will register what we’ve done “wrong”. If we try to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and failures without releasing the underlying feelings, then we will have trouble fully forgiving ourselves. No matter how hard we try to forgive ourselves and even others, many of us are hardwired to continue to beat ourselves up because our brain that stored all those negative situations will be forced to stay in the past and we tend to keep feeling those same feelings over and over. Learn to identify the guilt, the pain, the regret, the fear, the anger and release it. This will make self-forgiveness easier and more manageable.
Our mind is wired to hold on to the negativity in life because we are wired to live in fight or flight mode. In other words, we are always living in survival mode. To forgive ourselves, we first must admit that we made the mistake. We must realize that everyone makes mistakes, and we must own the fact that we have hurt people, we have hurt ourselves and we even changed the course of our future. We must take ownership and acknowledge the mistakes. Remember, failures, mistakes, and poor choices are a large part of life. Learn to appreciate the failures and the mistakes. It is how we learn and grow. It is how we make way for a better life. It’s how we move forward.
It’s easier to forgive a person whom we really love. If our trusting, loving friend, or significant other does something that hurts us, we are more likely to forgive. We can and should remember the good times and make sure that those good memories are stronger than the hurt. When we’re dealing with a person who has hurt us, sometimes it’s easier to choose to forgive rather than avoid the person and lose that relationship. We can often release the hurt, and simply move on. With ourselves, and our past mistakes, that’s not so easy. We cannot quit a relationship with ourselves. We can’t ignore, avoid or walk away from ourselves. Be intentional about finding self-love and self-acceptance. Self-appreciation is critical.
Making mistakes and being hurt is part of life, love, business. It’s going to happen.
It is often in our best interest to initiate forgiveness. If we wait too long, it becomes less manageable. When we initiate forgiveness, we can begin to heal and that means we are getting out of our comfort zone. When we practice self-forgiveness, we can allow ourselves to become better, stronger, faster, and finally live the life we deserve to live.
I hope the tips I shared will help you lean into your future. rather than stay stuck in your past. Because the truth is, the most dangerous place you can live is in the past. Make up your mind that past hurts and regrets will not overpower you. Make an intentional decision to reach out for help if you struggle with your past. Your best is yet to come. You are far more powerful than you know.